Epic day... milestones reached!

1. During physical therapy this morning I managed to do ten unassisted leg lifts with my left leg. First 5 were slow and grueling... I wasn't sure if I could even get to four with a shooting pain going through my knee cap every so often. Docs said to work through the pain, so I am. Second 5 were quick and crazy. It felt kind of unbelievable the relative ease and quickness of the last five. While Alon stood in front of me at the end of the bed, watching, worrying, asking, "Is it time for me to spot you or do you want assistance yet?". I grit my teeth like I was biting down on a leather swatch, scrunched my face up, closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks, and replied, "No not yet, honey, thanks." Before each leg lift I tightened my abs and took in breath to my belly, to my solar plexus, and up into my chest. I read about this in "Poser... my life in 23 yoga poses" to really gain strength and focus. It was cool. I'm sure I wasn't doing "it" (whatever it is) perfectly, but it still kind of worked! After all exercises were said and done, I said, "Good job leg, good job body" out loud. I just held and caressed my leg and cried. Alon came over congratulated me and gave me hugs and said something like, "I guess that's what it's like to work out really hard!". I was like, "Um yea, I guess so!". It was all pretty awesome and very fulfilling.

I am so thankful for this body's ability to heal and be strong and triumph over adversity!

2. Talk about inspired... after PT I was like, "Let's go for a walk... no let's go out for breakfast!" I couldn't believe it. Alon piled me into the back seat, with my wheel chair and crutches in the trunk, and we scooted off. I really just felt ready to go out. Like I could handle an hour out on the town. I called ahead to Tangerine (www.tangerineboulder.com) explaining my predicament: that I was either going to be in a wheel chair with my left leg up and out straight or propped up on pillows and a chair. They don't usually take reservations, but they managed to "save" us a booth so I could just swing my leg up there on the bench seat and be comfortable. Alon brought pillows from home (kinda silly but whatever) and helped me get more comfortable. Did I mention how amazing and wonderful Alon is??? Thank you Rose (hostess) and Jackson (General Manager) for being so awesome, checking in with me and wishing me all sorts of healing love. Our server was also super sweet and genuine... didn't get her name though.

I am so thankful for the kindness of strangers. Plug for Tangerine.... www.tangerineboulder.com ... everything on the brunch menu is great, especially the fresh squeezed OJ and multigrain pancakes :)

3. Pain meds are steady at about 3.25mg oxycodone/160mg tylenol every 8 hours or so. Plus an occasional 500mg of additional tylenol or 400mg of ibuprofen. I definitely feel more in my own body and mind now, which is much different than being on 5-15mg of oxy every 6 hours! I've also got symphytum (thanks to Denise), Inflamyar (arnica+herbs) (thanks to Bree), and some other Chinese herbs (thanks to Dale) to promote good circulation, healing, and bone growth!

I am so thankful for a variety of healthy remedies... eastern and western medicine, homeopathic remedies, which all help to facilitate a healthy, balanced system.

4. We had quite a few visitors today after our epic morning. Some of Alon's family: Aunt Lynn and cousins Josh, Jenny and their kids Wiley and Felix all visited today. That was really nice, and they are a great bunch of people. Also, friends Ernie and his partner Bob visited who are also awesome. We shared a lot of stories and just friendly getting-to-know-each-other-better time... as well as oogling over Bob's new iPad and fancy magnetic cover. Tech geeks that we all are :-)

I am so thankful for family and friends!

5. After all that, Miss Erin took about a 3 hour nap! Not that that is a first or unusual these days, but goes to show that I did a lot and needed the rest today. The stars and planets and friends and loved ones were aligned for me today... giving me great strength, resilience, and determination... as well as lots of smiles, gratitude, and feelings of being my normal self.

I am thankful for sleep and rest :-)

Walking the razor's edge of fear, compassion and bravery

With great looking results from new tibia x-rays on Wednesday, optimism and good spirits still prevail in the Dupuis-Katz household!

Mornings or evening can be the toughest. It alternates because pain seemed to be at its worst as the afternoon/evening progressed for the last couple of weeks, but now pain seems to be subsiding overall. 

Yesterday morning and today were especially hard. I woke up just so damn soar and stiff all over, my low back feeling wrenched. I just wanted to jump out of my skin!

I breathed. I cried. I moaned. I breathed into the areas of pain, soreness, stiffness, discomfort... like they teach me in yoga. It kinda helped. I moved the CPM and lay flat on my back in bed. Savasana. 

I got up. I stretched. I lay down. I stretched. Spinal twists. Did PT. Made stuff up. Anything I could think of to relieve myself of these moments of discomfort.

Okay... that helped but I needed more. It had been almost 12 hours since my last medication dose, 7.5mg oxycodone/325mg Tylenol. See!? I'm doing better! So this morning I took 500mg of Tylenol and 5mg of oxycodone and 30 minutes later I was feeling "normal".

I talked to my sister, Bridget, for almost an hour and a half. We laughed and shared stories. She gave me advice and shared memories of her healing after her surgery about 9 years ago. I heard about her poor doggy's flee and dermatitis problems. I lay in bed, finally comfortable. With like four blankets on me (down, fleece, quilt, knit) because I was freezing with my ice pack on my knee for most of the night. Anyways, it all helped me feel BETTER.

Alon made me a beautiful breakfast... he has nearly every day, when someone else isn't here to help. Eggs, toast, tomatoes, cucumbers. Ahh. He is "the best in the west" my sister, Bridget, said. She is right! 

That all said, I cry at least twice a day. A lot of the time it feels like an emotional outpouring to regulate myself in a way. It might be dealing with some post-traumatic stuff, as folks say. It might be brought on by tiredness, inability to get and stay comfortable, or pain and soreness from one of my worst sprained ankles ever. The leg itself only has an occasional sharp shooting pain through the knee cap. I'm stretching the scar tissue on the CPM which is uncomfortable, but temporary. 

Mostly, I think, the teary moments are just from the sheer DESIRE and DETERMINATION to heal; the FEAR and the COMPASSION that are drawn so strongly out of me at times; the accompaniment of the PAIN and STRUGGLE and discovery of new INNER STRENGTH (bravery?) during physical therapy; and truly, the GRATITUDE I have for this body's ability to heal, my medical providers who continue to treat me with the the best of care, and my friends and loved ones, especially Alon, who continue to help me at every turn at all ours of the day and night.

Regarding PT, I am up to about 20 exercises per day I think. I haven't actually counted. I just had my last home PT visit from Deb yesterday. The exercises she has given me just keep adding up and I need to do them until I hit that 12 week mark (November 21st). This includes therapy for my left leg, foot and shoulder, since I fell pretty hard on it too and strength and range of motion have been compromised. In order to stay as strong and balanced as possible, I need to start throwing in exercises for the right side of the body too... sigh, it feels like a lot of work, but I'm going to get it all squared away this weekend I think.

My next step with PT is to make a spreadsheet.... since I miss doing them so much at work! This will allow me to track my daily progress... not have to think too much about what to do next... watch my ups and downs and give myself some recognition when I'm feeling beat or unmotivated. It will be similar to what I had going with my yoga schedule prior to the accident where I started with two classes per week and added a new class or two every three weeks.

Speaking of yoga, it's pretty cool what poses I've adapted to a walker! And what I've made up along the way just to get some good stretching in. Maybe I'll get Alon to take some pictures and post them here soon :-)

The morning today ended with a good dose of sunshine. I sat in the back yard, watching Ozy jump over rocks, hide, and hop through the grass chasing grass hoppers. She's all tired now and fast asleep in her bed next to Alon while he works. Anyways, I sat outside for about an hour, all propped up with a couple chairs and a few pillows, just taking it in. It was warm and good.

AND working on my short term disability paperwork with Gary, our HR Director at BCAP, over the phone. Alon scrambled this morning to pick up and drop off paperwork from the doctor's office to home to BCAP to home again. Let's hope that all goes through smoothly and quickly so I can at least get a portion (about 1/2) of my pay for the next couple of months while I recover at home.

Ooh! My left knee just "cracked" in the CPM! That was weird! Oh well, all is well I guess... that's just a new movement and sensation. Hm. Good I suppose!

E. Dupuis signing out... thanks for checking in again :-) xoxo

No break through pain, Ozy tries CPM

The good news for yesterday is that I had no break through pain during my 6 hours between medication doses! I went about 7 hours without any pain meds. I also took just half a pill at the 7 hour mark. So THAT is AWESOME!

Some more good news is a new friend, former board member at BCAP and volunteer there saw my request for help on Facebook. She has offered to come every Wednesday morning for a couple of hours to take care of me till I am back up on my feet. This type of generosity and help blows me away. Then, Alon and I contemplated how so many nice people lately make us (mostly me) cry. More AWESOMENESS.

This morning the Oz-meister, our kitty, Ozymandius, Ozy for short, alias KITTY... decided she would try out my Constant Passive Movement (CPM) machine while I jaunted off to the bathroom at 6am. When I hobbled back, this is what I found... of course the machine was off, otherwise she would not have been so brave...

1. Curled up like a little ball, like this hunk of medical machinery with a soft faux sheerling liner was made for her... Excuse ME!

2. Getting experimental. Ozy attemps to find a more comfortable position, poking her head through a hole, laying her soft white belly across the fuzzy liner... Success.

3. Close up. Ozy resting her face on the hard plastic base of the CPM. She has SUCH a hard time getting comfortable. Who needs vicodin or valium? I want what she's got!

That's pretty much been my morning so far. Other than excruciating foot pain, which does not seem to want to go away. Deb, my beloved Physical Therapist, should be here soon. We shall discuss the foot then. Love to you all! Thanks for checking out my blog.

Specific Requests for Help (in Boulder, CO)

I am trying to make a schedule of helpers for the next 5-10 weeks while I recover at home. I am requesting a couple hours of help in both the mornings and afternoons. We are taking this one week (really, one day) at a time. I hope to be doing things and walking on my own again by Thanksgiving! Please read on for details... thanks :)

My contact info:
erin.e.dupuis@gmail.com
508-479-4841

Schedule of Help Needed:

• Days: Monday through Friday
• Times: (slightly flexible)
• Morning shift: 10am-1pm
• Afternoon shift: 2pm-5pm 
• Duration: Tuesday, September 13th to Friday, November 18th

Any assistance or amount of time you can offer is helpful. Please be direct with me and Alon by saying what you can and cannot help with at anytime. We respect you, your time and your friendship.

Help at Home:

• breakfast and lunch
• change ice for my leg
• move my equipment from living room to bedroom (ability to lift 10 pounds) - usually in late afternoon
• refill my water bottle
• push me in wheelchair around the block when I feel up to it 
• light house cleaning
• other personal assistance (does not include getting dressed, toileting or bathing)
• keep me company
• laugh together
• ART THERAPY!

Help Outside Home:

• pick up biweekly farm share in Boulder, Thursday, 4-7pm (thru Oct.)
• run errands - examples: picking up ice or a few grocery items - we will give you money ahead of time or reimburse immediately

Asking for help is not an easy thing for us. Thank you so much for hearing and considering our requests. 

With respect, love and thanks,

Erin & Alon