Anniversary can mean so many things

365 days of blogging... well, not really. More like 60-somethings posts. There were some breaks in there. But 365 days of recovery. Absolutely. And counting. 365 days of patience, perseverance, acceptance, frustration, sadness, gratitude, surprise, self-discovery, self-renewal, joy, support, learning, and love. Yes. Yes. Yes!

A year ago today I started this blog as a commitment to my health, to experiencing gratitude, and to living happily. Eight hours after my first blog entry - filled with optimism and sense of accomplishment, I crashed my bike on the side of the road and so began the most painful and frightening day of my life. About two years to the day, Alon and I signed our first lease together and I began to settle in to the most beautiful relationship of my life (sounds a little corny, but love can be that way sometimes and it's good!). Almost three years ago to the day, I found out my Mom was battling stage two breast cancer and I met Alon shortly thereafter. Four years to the day, I became part of a cohort at Naropa University who I would spend a year with studying transpersonal counseling psychology, mindfulness meditation, and wilderness therapy. Today, I find myself healthy and getting stronger, filled with gratitude for all things, people, and accomplishments in my life. And everyday - though sometimes it's a real struggle - I focus on and succeed in bringing more joy, peace, acceptance, and fulfillment into my life.

There have been just a few things I've learned this year... 1) the art of acceptance, 2) how to create more happiness and joy in my life, 3) how to tell a story, and 4) a great blogger updates people at least once a week and keeps her posts to 500 words or less (still working on that one).

That said, the new self-awareness I can share with you today includes... 

1) Transformation is beautiful, challenging, and awkward! (i.e. from extrovert to introvert)

2) I'm taking control of my life (to the extent possible) by making intentional choices focused on my happiness. (seems simple but it hasn't been!)

3) The courage to be me is always in demand.

4) I have enough. Right here. Right now.

5) I am perfect in every moment / every moment is perfect.

6) My truth and experience are valid, real, and worthy.

7) I experience a universal truth with you all, with everyone.

8) I am, without a doubt, a highly-sensitive person. (Yet another learning curve.)

9) I want to be a professional freelance writer. (gulp)

10) I am constantly learning and moving towards a higher goal / higher purpose.

And most of all... I AM SURROUNDED BY LOVE!!! From within me and all of you. Love is truly abundant and everywhere. Thank you to everyone who has made this year so amazing, so humbling, easier, sweeter, more comfortable, less comfortable, and more forgiving. I love each and every one of you!

No News is Good News

... so here's the news:

Last Saturday I learned about two of my temporary limitations. Jumping and fast lateral movement.

In my new favorite group exercise class, Butts and Guts!, we had a kick ass 25 minute routine last Saturday. Part of this routine included jumping up in the air and bending down to squat and touch the floor. About 24 times. I remember doing these in basketball practice in high school. My first thought when I did this Saturday turned out to the be right one. You shouldn't be jumping. Nothing happened immediately. I modified to smaller, less frequent jumps. Still... bad idea as it turns out.

Another part of the class routine included a Bosu ball workout. I've grown to love and admire the Bosu for it's ability to provide continuous challenges and rewards. Staring at it like it knows it just made my life harder for the better. Smirking at it as I contemplate the positioning, balance, and agility I need to master it.

Saturday in "Butts & Guts!" we were literally leaping like ballerinas laterally over the Bosu to land one leg on the soft inflated part and one leg on the floor, and sitting back into a squat. BAD IDEA. What fun it seemed like at first... and then, that little voice. Side to side leaps over a half ball followed by one legged squats? Probably not there yet. Slow down, girl.

Well, yes, I continued... modified and slow, but still pushing the limits... wondering what my body will say to me later.

Here it is Thursday... six days later... and this week has been somewhat hellish for the ole left leg. I've had to scale back my workouts and walk a bit gimpy. Sharp pains through the inside of my knee. Soarness and stiffness from hip to toes. Rubbing the massive knot in my upper calf (probably from landing on my toes continuously instead of flat footed) and standing up to stretch during meetings more often. I've taken a few thousand milligrams of Tylenol and ibuprofen over the course of the week and today, reported all this to my physical therapist.

She told me exactly what I had learned, "You're just not there yet, but you will be!". We practiced some "jumping" and "running" simulation exercises using about 60-70% of my body weight. That was encouraging. We used the Total Gym for the running and a 2 inch high box platform for the jumping. This all felt pretty fine which was good. Although walking is not so easy tonight. I feel like I just don't want to move my leg at all, or else, pain. Fortunately, this is not the kind of pain that wakes me up at night. 

For all intents and purposes, I am doing great! The last two weeks or so I have observed marked (albeit small) increases in mobility, flexibility, feeling "light" and relaxed muscles. I'm walking A LOT and I'm much better at stairs (no awkward thumping). I also had my first REAL bike ride out on the open road yesterday! I rented a chill little step through cruiser-type bike by GIANT from Full Cycle and peddled my way to the gym. I even rode through the corner where I was in my accident. It was at least 70 degrees and sunny and that's all I really cared about. I was in complete bliss... peddling... warm... and free. I want to do this all day, every day. The weather has been so perfect for it. Another temporary physical limitation observed on the bike ride: standing and peddling... um, not so much. Hence, the term "cruiser". I am excited to continue to watch my progress, find balance in my every day experiences, and focus on more good times ahead.